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17 June 2007 @ 11:45 pm
Fic: Restrained Emotion  
Title: Restrained Emotion
Author: Immortelle Stalker // sixthwinemaiden
Rating: R
Prompt: June 18th - Unexpected
Disclaimer: Tis not mine... The anime, I mean. ^___^;;

St. Rudolph Dormitory. While most of occupants there were busy preparing to go back to their homes later that night, there were still a few who idled around. These few were the unlucky ones who had to stay behind for summer camp the next day. Among those who were having the said camp was the St. Rudolph Gakuen’s tennis club.

At the phone lounge, Yuuta fiddled with the telephone string as he talked; a disappointed look showed on his face. “So that’s why I can’t make it to our outing tomorrow. Sorry, aniki,” he said over the phone.

“Don’t worry about it. We can have it anytime soon. Do your best on the camp, okay Yuuta?” Syuusuke replied.

Yuuta smiled. “Thanks,” he hushed out. With that, he hung up with a tired sigh. Then, he went straight to his room instead of eating dinner. He had been looking forward for the outing for months. Yumiko originally thought of the idea, a sibling outing where the three of them would go to Okinawa for 3 days. But then, Yumiko had to withdraw from the plan herself because of college matters, leaving only Yuuta and Syuusuke. It was not like Yuuta didn’t want to have Yumiko around, but he was actually glad that it would only be just him and his aniki. He missed Syuusuke so much, truth to be told, and he would use this opportunity to talk about a serious feeling that he has for him.

His hostility towards Syuusuke had long been forgotten, but a new emotion filled his senses. There were nights that he would dream of Syuusuke doing things to him, wonder how his lips would feel with his, and spend the night beside him, those kinds of things. Now, that was not a normal thing for a boy to think of, much more a brother. But he had them, and it was making him uneasy every night. So, he had been preparing to let it all out to his aniki at the outing. There might be consequences, but Yuuta was ready to face it. Still, everything got screwed for him.

However, that was not all of Yuuta’s worries. It had been a month already since he last visited his home. Tennis was not the only thing that he had to worry about in St. Rudolph; there were also his academics, so he had been quite busy. Since he clearly couldn’t make it tomorrow, he had to wait another three weeks before he could see Syuusuke.

Yuuta huffed out in annoyance and slumped onto his bed. Being away from his aniki was driving him mad. He didn’t have trouble with that during his first days in the dorm, but nowadays it seemed like he was longing for him more and more. Their distance could still be satiated, but the feeling of separation nagged his mind. It grew even more agonizing for him when his eyes fell on the clock by his bedside table. 7:30 P.M. Dormitory curfew for that day is 10PM. There was still ample time for him to visit his home then get back on time. He might not be able to talk about his worries, but at least he could see his aniki. Maybe it would even ward off my absurd dreams... So, he quickly headed out of the dorm and went on his way.

When he got to his house, the lights were turned off, and the family car was nowhere in sight. “Ah darn it. They probably went out for dinner,” Yuuta cursed out in exasperation. Just as he was about to turn and leave, he noticed a dim light in Syuusuke’s room. “Aniki…” Quickly, he got the keys from his pocket and opened the front door as stealthy as possible. Why am I doing this anyway? It’s like I’m sneaking into my own home! Yuuta grumbled in his mind, but kept his silence as he went inside. He went up the stairs and treaded the hallway, looking at the closed doors. He was partially correct; no one was home, except for Syuusuke. He had yet to confirm that though. His aniki’s room was open and the television was on. A wide smile came to his lips as he hurried to Syuusuke’s door. “Aniki!” But his smile faded when he saw the empty room.

“Mou, I drop by for a visit and no one’s here to even welcome me home!” Yuuta complained out loud as he made his way downstairs. Well, he did call earlier to say that he wasn’t going to visit, so this was fairly his fault as well. As he stepped down the stairs, he heard a soft sound of patting water coming from the bathroom. Yuuta swallowed as he took steps closer to the door. “A-aniki...” Taking in a deep breath, he knocked on the door.

“Hai?” Syuusuke’s fogged voice echoed from inside the bathroom. Yuuta felt his cheeks turn bright red. “A-aniki!” he called out, loud enough for Syuusuke to hear. “Yuuta! You’re home!” he heard Syuusuke call out. “Do you need to use the bathroom?”

Yuuta felt his muscles tense up. “N-Not really...” He replied while fiddling with his fingers. Syuusuke called out again, “Sorry, it’ll take me some time here.” Yuuta couldn’t bring himself to speak up, so he just nodded, even though Syuusuke couldn’t see it. “Nee Yuuta, I thought you’re not coming,” Syuusuke said. Yuuta looked away with a pout in his lips. “Well, I thought of visiting even for just a while…” He then heard Syuusuke hum an enlightened tune as a response.

An unwanted desire filled Yuuta’s mind. Since no one was around, he could talk to his aniki like what he originally planned. His mind could wait, but it felt like his body wanted more than just talk. He bit his lip and fought the urge not to barge inside the bathroom. Even though they’re brothers, Yuuta had to respect Syuusuke’s privacy, at least. The boy folded his arms and clasped it tightly near his body, but his concentration shattered completely when he heard Syuusuke call out his name. He closed his eyes shut and went inside the bathroom by impulse. Then, his dry and warm body met a damp and cool one. Yuuta looked up and met his brother’s smiling face. “Aniki...” he hushed out.

“My, Yuuta. You’re quite obedient,” Syuusuke whispered to his brother as he held him closer to his body. The fact that his aniki was completely naked made Yuuta think of speeding back to the dormitory, never to show his face to Syuusuke again, or drown himself in the toilet for all he cared. But his thoughts shorted out when he felt his aniki’s fingers along his chin, then his lips on his. Yuuta lips trembled beneath Syuusuke’s, making the older brother chuckle lightly. He moved to close the door and placed his lips near Yuuta’s ear. “Really, what brought you here, Yuuta?” he whispered coarsely. Yuuta lowered his head and rested on his brother’s shoulder. Then, he pushed Syuusuke, sending the older brother staggering on the wet floor under the shower.

Syuusuke’s eyes flared open. “Yuuta...” he uttered in disbelief. The difference in his younger brother’s eyes made Syuusuke hold out whatever he had to say. There was no resentment, only confusion. Yuuta went up and kneeled in front of him. “Gomen... aniki,” he quickly grabbed Syuusuke and forced his lips on his older brother. The water was cold upon his body, quickly soaking his clothes, but he did not mind. Syuusuke’s lips gave him warmth, and so was the feeling flaming inside him. Yuuta quivered when he felt Syuusuke’s hand crawl from his back to his neck, pulling him close, and then coaxed his lips open with his tongue. The younger Fuji felt stupid for not knowing what to do after that. Logical thinking clearly did not have any place in that awkward moment. He already threw that part of his mind away when he kissed his brother. Soon, Yuuta felt Syuusuke pull away from him.

“You’re thinking too much, Yuuta,” Syuusuke said frankly, yet with a loving concern, making Yuuta blushed again. Just as he was about to say something, Syuusuke silenced him by placing a finger on his brother’s lips. Yuuta bit his lower lip as his aniki’s hands motioned to remove his wet shirt. Then, Syuusuke rested his hands on Yuuta’s chest, feeling his heart beat wildly against his chest. “You... came to do this to me?” he said with a half-chuckle.

“That’s not it!” Yuuta shot back, his face completely flushed. A perplexed look clouded Syuusuke’s face, and it made the younger Fuji calm down a little. Softly, he leaned on his brother and locked him in an embrace. “I... missed you, aniki,” he whispered to him. “For months, I’ve been desperately trying to forget this feeling, but it just won’t leave me alone.” Syuusuke cherished the warmth of his brother as he pulled him closer to his body. “I pushed you earlier because I’m angry... I’m angry at you for making me feel this way, even though I perfectly know that this fact might drive you off,” traces of sobs were present in Yuuta’s voice, but he was not shedding any tears.

Syuusuke didn’t move after that, and it made Yuuta uncomfortable. Though his brother’s arms still claimed him, the younger one couldn’t help but feel that Syuusuke was already seeing the senseless part of his repressed emotion. Syuusuke didn’t need to be a prodigy at something to figure out what Yuuta was trying to tell him.

“I know what you’re trying to tell me...” Syuusuke said in his softest voice possible, making Yuuta pull back to face his brother. “You do?” he asked. The tensai nodded with a sincere smile. “However, I want to hear it straight from you.”

Yuuta’s eyes widened. “B-But aniki...”

“Are you embarrassed of your feelings for me, Yuuta?”

The younger Fuji lowered his head. He did feel that way somehow, but at the same time, he was very proud that he loves his brother more than how one should. What concerned him was the way his brother would accept it. Syuusuke had been always understanding of everything, but up to what extent can he tolerate? “Aniki...” his voice trailed off. Then, the words finally spoke for themselves. “I love you.” He closed his eyes shut, frightened of what would happen next. But then, he felt Syuusuke’s soft hands on his cheek.

“There… It can never sound so good unless you say it with your own voice,” Syuusuke said happily. Yuuta couldn’t believe what he heard at that moment. “Y-you mean...” He was silenced by a deep and loving kiss that he longed ever since. Syuusuke pulled back a little and said, “Does that calm your doubts?” Yuuta blinked, then nodded and pulled his brother again into the kiss. He was cold, wet, shirtless and on top of a naked older brother. But he did not mind. Syuusuke was his, and would always be his.

“I love you as well, Yuuta...” Syuusuke managed to hush out in between jagged breaths.

It was a quiet and secretive night for the brothers, especially Yuuta. Although he felt half-bad for not telling their parents and to Yumiko that he was actually home, at least he got to spend a wonderful night beside Syuusuke. The junior smiled as he leaned closer to his brother to feel his presence once again. It made him wonder if there was really something wrong with him for possessing that forbidden feeling for his sibling. However, Syuusuke just chuckled and kissed near his ear. “Look at it this way, Yuuta. It just means that there’s something wrong with the both of us.”

Yuuta pouted his lower lip. “Are we really supposed to be happy with that?” he asked. Syuusuke smiled and moved to nuzzle his face on Yuuta’s chest. “Well, at least you’re not alone, and I’m not alone, right?” he said. Yuuta paused for the longest time, but quickly regained his consciousness and planted a soft kiss on Syuusuke’s head. “Right.”

“Nee Yuuta,” Syuusuke said. “Can you do me a favor before we go to sleep?” Yuuta blinked. “Sure. What is it?” Syuusuke smiled and faced Yuuta. “Call me Syuusuke tonight. Call me that whenever we’re alone.” Yuuta blinked again. “A-are you sure?” The older Fuji nodded eagerly, making the younger one scratch his head. “Well... okay.” He hushed out.


Early the next morning, Mizuki twirled his hair impatiently while he paced back and forth. “Where in the world has Yuuta gone off to? He’s not in his room, and he hasn’t done any packing yet!” he ranted out loud. The other St. Rudolph players could just look at him without saying anything, while a few decided not to look anyway to spare their eyes.

“Mizuki-san!!” Yuuta called out from afar. When he managed to reach his waiting teammates, he almost fell face down on the ground due to exhaustion. “I’m sorry for being late!” he spoke in between tired breaths.

Mizuki gritted his teeth. “Where were you?! Due to your tardiness, we have to adjust the training schedule that I worked on all night!” he complained in near tears. Yuuta led out a nervous chuckle and bowed down again. “I’m really sorry, Mizuki-san! I went to visit my family and—”

“Don’t mind him for now...” the captain cut off. “Let’s go. We don’t want to get any later than scheduled,” he then pushed the still ranting Mizuki up on the bus while Yuuta followed obediently. “Thank you, captain,” Yuuta hushed out peacefully. Inside the bus, he found a seat next to the window and settled there to catch his breath. He crossed his arms and glanced outside. Don’t worry... When I come back from camp, I won’t have to leave your side early... Syuusuke.

Me still likey the uncut version. But it's not finished yet. >_< /sigh
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